I have No idea...

how to keep up....

-with friends who blog

-with people who are on time

-with people who attend church faithfully

-with people who print out their pictures from their sd cards

-with crafty mom's

-with parents who read to their little ones EVERY night...

-(Gracie is right beside me and she is reading everything I'm typing and she suggested...people who pay taxes!!) Bahahhaha!! Darn that kid is funny! :) Seriously where did that come from?! Anybody who really knows me would think this is even funnier, due to that fact that I don't think I've ever even payed a bill in my life!!

There are so many more things too that I wish I was better at...

I personally hate "how to" books, "self improvement" books, I believe the only source for self improvement books we need in this crazy world is the Bible. That saying, I actually recently have read "How to have a New Kid by Friday" it was pretty decent. I skimmed, truthfully.

Parenting is hard.

Crazy hard when you have a child going off in left field WITHOUT your permission.

Everything I've read and Everybody that I've talked to states that "this too shall pass" "It's just a phase""the prodigal will return"

I'm sorry, but that is just not comforting when your child you've rocked and held in your arms, comforted all hours of the night... for years, sang lullabies to, Oh...for pitty sake!! Ahhh!! he makes me want to SCREAM and shake him and yell "WAKE UP!!" "Do you have any IDEA what on earth kind of PAIN you are causing ME!???" Gosh, it's not just me. You're ENTIRE family is suffering due to your poor choices!!! (just a little insight as to my inner turmoil)

So...I've realized...I'm apparently... NOT in control anymore....

It's now up to Foster...

I haven't given up on him, but I am making a very conscious decision to Give him over to God, Foster's Eternal Heavenly Father. I'm choosing daily to stand on the Truth of God's word. Surrendering my fears, worries, regrets, thoughts and feelings to the One who is Faithful, Just and FULL of Mercy, Grace and Compassion, Wisdom.